What happened in Hyrule when Penny wasnt watching
by Pyro-Gnome
Summary: Time for Katie to have some fun of her own....
1. Ghosts, Sex Gods and Swords. Is it all t...

The beginning of this story, how Katie actually gets to Hyrule, isn't included, because this story is a continuation of Storm-Child's " So many worlds apart yet so, so close". So read that first if you want to understand the full story.  
  
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With Penny and Link getting cosy in the corner of the treehouse, I figured this was something even I shouldn't try to join in with. I hadn't played Zelda in our world half as much as Penny, but I knew my way around the main part of Hyrule well enough, and I knew that I wanted to head for the Graveyard. It was still just about light so I decided I ought to be safe enough and started the walk. (Besides, if it got too dark I could light a fire!)  
  
I was a bit pissed about the Penz-Link smoochy situation, I almost puked when they were doing god knows what on my back the other day, but I told myself that I didn't want that kinda crap, I was here to have fun, and anyway, I bet Link's a really slobbery pull….yeuch *shudder* who can stand SLOBBERERS!?.  
  
Deep in thought I hadn't realised I was approaching the graveyard. The graves were in the same positions as in the game, not that I had really expected any different, and I thought it'd be funny to do what I had done when I'd been playing the game, and open all the graves up, random, but I was bored and didn't want to go back to the forest where all I could hear was Link and Penny giggling and Saria moaning about them. Suddenly I was excited, and pulled all the stones back, revealing, of course, all the poes that were trapped in them…only then did I remember that I WASN'T Link, and DIDN'T have a big shiny sword or a slingshot full of deku seeds. I hadn't noticed the first few poes in my strangely manic excitement, and had pulled eight of the graves open. Now I stood there completely frozen, except for my voice box, which was going full blast "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT!!!!!!!!!!" From the last stone I'd moved, and was currently clutching as if it were life itself, there came yet another poe, and as it came towards me I tried to put on a fighting face, but it stopped mere inches away from my face and said in its ghostly voice "MAN, you are totally HOT!!"  
  
Did that mean I looked like a poe?? This was just too much. I gulped and darted glances to the other circling, approaching poes. These ones sure didn't look as if they thought I was cute. I was dinner. I stepped backwards and tripped over a skeleton that had suddenly appeared in the scene, and landed on its skull, teeth clamping into my arse. " OW! Oh FUCK IT!"  
  
Having been staring at me for the past thirty seconds, the poe floating by my face reacted. He turned around and called over his shoulder " Never fear fair princess, Bob shall save ye!" "What the hell is he ON!?" I thought. He'd charged at the group, and had just started throwing punches at one of the other seven poes, and clearly none of the others were on his side.  
  
One by one the other poes fell, and with each one my head cleared, and I couldn't stifle a laugh. My "Hero" was screeching gallant phrases like " Die foul fiend" and "Return to the earth from whenst thou came scum!" with every punch. Finally the last poe hissed its farewell and fell back to its grave, and all was silent. Including me. Bob was now inspecting the area for any hidden foes, and was therefore invisible to me. I looked around trying to spot something that would give away his position, and said " I…….you…..you SAVED me!? But, I thought poes were meant to be, like, evil??" I was getting seriously worried about his disappearance now, maybe he had just saved me to eat me himself, but suddenly I heard a voice at my shoulder " I just couldn't resist saving someone so sexy" I whipped around and he floated gently back, visible now. " That's all very well," I said "but you're a poe, I'm a human, doesn't work see? Anyway, have to be getting back to my friends now, they'll be worrying about me" I knew they wouldn't be but I had to say something. I got up, extracted a few teeth from my jeans and walked off without another word. Halfway back to Kokiri Forest I could've sworn I heard a breath on the wind saying "Meet me by the drawbridge at midnight tomorrow." It wasn't a question and I quickened my pace and said loudly "If you're gonna follow me don't bother being invisible" almost before I'd finished the word I screamed. Bob had appeared suddenly in front of my face again. "Do you wanna quit that?" I was embarrassed that I'd screamed. I don't do screaming. The poe just chuckled and retreated so he was floating a to one side of me. "Look, what do you want with me?" again he just smiled. I'd got over the shock now, and was just plain mad. "Look, I dunno who you are…or rather, were, but I have a life to get on with." He still wasn't talking and I felt like hitting his puny legless body. Eventually, after about five minutes of just standing there with me looking him in the eye, he spoke. " I thought you'd be grateful that I'd just saved your life…" instantly I felt kinda bad "oh look I'm sorry, thanks, but yeah, I really have to go ya know."  
  
He sighed, circled my head a few times, and then asked "I'll let you go if you say you'll meet me tomorrow, you know where the drawbridge is right?"  
  
I vowed not to tell Penny about my escapade, she'd only tell Linky- Poo, and they'd both want to come with me the next day and ruin my fun, and so I walked back into Links treehouse apparantly unnoticed by the two in the corner. " Oh for fucks sake, they can't STILL be at it!?"  
  
Knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep if I stayed, I went back down to the forest floor to see what some of the little dudes were up to. Most people were in bed, and the only person I could find was a random guy humping a rock outside another house. I decided to avoid him. Suddenly an idea hit me, what did I do when I was bored and annoyed in the game? I ran back to Link's place and poked my head round the door, yup they were still at it, and Link's sword was close to them, I sneaked in and slowly lifted up the sword when Link seemed particularly engrossed (I have to put stress on the Gross!) in Penny's lips, yeuch! Anyway, I'd managed to get the sword and was now heading towards Hyrule field again. I'd been surprised at how heavy the sword had been, Link must be stronger than I'd given him credit for, as it was clearly a one-handed sword, but to wield it at all I had to use both mine. Soon I cam across a bunch of ferny-type plants, and grinned as I imagined what they'd look like after I'd finished with them. And with that I swung the sword, very clumsily down, and began hacking the plants. Leaves were flying, and I was getting tired quickly, but I was determined to finish them all off, and my annoyance with Penny gave me unfound strength. I wasn't sure why I was so annoyed, I didn't exactly fancy Link, so I wasn't jealous, it was just that she was sucking up to him so badly. Finally all the plants had been hacked to the roots, and I stuck the sword in the ground and collapsed on the ground, panting. My head was spinning, and I didn't hear soft footsteps approaching. "So it was you making all that racket," said a voice with a chuckle. For the second time that evening I'd been jumped on, and I wasn't happy. "Why do people keep doing that!?" I muttered angrily. "whoah, sorry, I was just coming to see what was going on over here, my cousin sent me cause he was woken up by someone screeching or something. He wasn't too pleased, he likes his sleep!" Hardly having taken any of this in, I looked at the guy towering over me and blinked. "Umm… who are you?" I was trying to get to my feet and he put his hand down to help, I took it gratefully. "I'm called Matt, I live over in the town with my cousin now cause my parents are away for a while. Where are you from? I don't think I've seen you around before, and you don't look Hylian." Now standing, I had a sudden headrush, and moaned painfully. I really didn't feel up to explaining about me and Penny and how we'd got here. " I'm Katie, I'm staying in Kokiri but you're right I'm not from round here." Feeling a bit better I looked up at his face and saw him clearly for the first time. I breathed in suddenly, he was gorgeous! He had short black spiky hair, but it had been bleached at the tips. He was tall, tanned, and…wow. I must've been staring open mouthed cause he grinned and said, "I'm not from round here either, you can probably tell by the ears!" I didn't know what to say. I was suddenly aware of my sweaty face, muddy clothes and scruffed up hair. "Do you want me to walk you back to the forest?" he asked with a smile. "That'd be great, thanks" I grinned nervously and turned to the sword half submerged in the soil. I tugged fruitlessly at it and sighed. Link could get it in the morning. But before I turned around arms had come round my body and were holding the hilt, pressed on top of mine. I could smell the all-too-familiar smell of Linx and Brylcreem, and heard Matt counting to three before we heaved at the sword and it came out. It hadn't been as hard as we'd thought, and when it came out easily, we both stumbled, and fell backwards, with me landing awkwardly on top of Matt. "oh, I'm so sorry" I stammered, then burst into giggles as I remembered that I'd done exactly the same thing in the graveyard earlier, only this time it wasn't a skeleton beneath me. "What's up with you?" he looked genuinely puzzled at my outburst and a bit worried too. "It's nothing," I assured him "just something that happened to me earlier" I was standing up now and looked down at him, still lying spread- eagled on the grass. "Are you going to walk me home or are you going to stay there all night?" I asked pompously. He scrambled up and then bowed low, saying as he did, "of course I shall escort m'lady back to her palace." He came back up with a broad grin on his face, and we both laughed. Then he picked up Link's sword and handed it back to me. "come on lets go, my cousin will want to know where I've been, although he's probably gone back to sleep knowing him…" I had a question that had been burning inside me since he had helped me pull out the sword, and it was only as we reached the forest and he made to say good-night that I managed to blurt it out. "You're not from this world are you?" he looked a bit stunned "how did you know?" I looked a bit sheepish now " I love the smell of brylcreem and I'd know it anywhere, and I recognise the Linx smell cause it's the same one my brother has" I shrugged and left it at that, but Matt was obviously intrigued. "That means you must come from the same world as me then" he said, half to himself. "Yeah, unless some other world has Brylcreem!" he still looked confused though. "But how did you get here?" he said slowly. I grinned and replied, "I could ask you the same question. It's a long story, I should be going, but I could tell you if we saw each other some other time." "OK," he said, "meet me tomorrow at sunset by the drawbridge." It was weird, that was three things that had happened twice in one night, first the falling over, then him talking like some olde englishe toff, and now wanting to meet me by the drawbridge, but I agreed and Matt waved and left. I watched him until he was out of sight, and then sighed and climbed back up the ladder to see Penny and Link in each other's arms fast asleep. Well, I thought, looks like she won't be the only one around here with a love life. And with that I fell, exhausted on to the bed and grinned. It had been some night!  
  
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Well, that's the first chappy and there'll be more! PLEASE review it, even if you think it's crap, and tell me if you wanna be included or anything coz I'm more than willing to have random characters appear out of no where! 


	2. Is kt doomed to collapse every time she ...

Right peeps, second chappy coming right up! Sorry it took so long to put up, but I have other things to do with my life, and I have to change it every time penny updates, so be grateful it's here at all! But anyway, enjoy!  
  
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I'll bet Penny didn't fall for the "me feeling sick" excuse, but I couldn't think of anything else. She would've come with me otherwise, what with Link asleep.  
  
I was a bit early so I wandered around a bit on my way to the drawbridge, and tried to act as if I wasn't completely excited about the thought of seeing Matt again. I just hoped penny hadn't noticed my incessant gazing into space and grinning at all.  
  
The drawbridge came into sight in the distance and I squinted to see if Matt was there. I could make out a shape leaning on the chains, and hoped it was him. Taking a deep breath I sauntered over. He had his back to me, so I coughed gently, and before I knew it, he had spun round, as if he had been waiting on edge for such a sign.  
  
He darted a quick glance back into the town and then said "quick, we'll have to go somewhere my cousin won't find me, coz I'm meant to be doing various boring chores for him!" I was a bit surprised, but agreed with a nod and asked "where do you wanna go? I wouldn't mind doing some exploring, but you've been here so long, you probably know it like the back of your hand!" he thought for a minute before taking my hand and setting off almost at a run.  
  
I had no idea where he was taking me, but didn't complain, why would I? He was holding my hand! I hadn't held a guys hand for… but what has that got to do with anything? I wasn't really watching where we were heading, but suddenly I was in a cave. "umm, did I miss something?" I asked looking around, confused. The walls were covered in green slime and a dripping noise could be heard from further back in the cave. I was reminded of the dodongo snot situation, and had to pinch myself to stop myself from grinning like a village idiot. At the same time I was confused, we'd never found this cave when we were exploring… well, no, correction, when I was exploring and Penny was cowering and whimpering behind a cushion because of a strange noise.  
  
"This is my secret cave" The voice pulled me back to reality, and continued " Not even my cousin, he's called Blackwolf by the way, don't know if you've heard of him, but anyway, not even he knows about this." Wandering over to what looked like the only entrance, I noticed some rat bones in a pile. "Well someTHING else knows about it, that's for sure." I didn't wait for a reply as I'd said this to myself, but I got one anyway, as I turned to go and explore further back, and see what that damned incessant dripping was. " That's from my pet snake, Archie. He's wild, but he knows me and I feed him on rats I steal from the mad lakeside professors lab" I chuckled as I peered into a particularly damp crack in the wall, who'd call anyone or anything, even a snake, Archie? Again Matt was talking, although I wasn't really listening. I wanted to explore! Maybe it was dark deep inside the damp cavern, and it would take both our pyro skills to light a sufficient fire! I hadn't lit a fire, or even a match, in ages, I was getting desparate! "Look, I can see you just want to explore, but it'd be dangerous to go down there on your own. Lets go together"  
  
This sounded good, at last he'd clicked that I wanted some action, as opposed to hearing about his pet snake. Instantly I was on my way into the shadows, but in my eagerness I slipped on a spreading pile of slime that had dropped from the ceiling, and landed on my back as well as smashing my head against the uneven walls. " Man. I should learn to be more careful." I felt fine as I said it, but as I tried to heave my self up off the floor to wipe myself down, I couldn't stifle the moan that escaped as my head started to pound mercilessly. " I warned you" Matt sighed. All I could manage was a roll of the eyes, but he came towards me and said " here, I'll carry you out the back, it's not far if we go this way…" and with that I was swept into his arms, gunk and all, and was reminded of last night. Was I gonna make a fool outta myself every time I met this guy? That could get repetitive! Thinking was too much, so I just closed my eyes, relaxed, and tried not to imagine what Matt was thinking. Just as I was getting used to the motion of his walk, he stopped and I could feel myself being lowered to the ground. Suddenly I could feel moonlight on my eyes, but didn't want to open them. As I touched the ground, I felt something on my lips, and my eyes sprung open. Instinctively I moved back, and it took me a few more seconds than normal to realise what had just happened.  
  
I stared at Matt, who was kneeling beside me, looking shocked, and blushing like a tomato. " Oh Shit. I'm sorry… I thought you'd fainted" It was then that it all came back to me why I'd been so looking forward to seeing him tonight, I'd been getting impatient, wanting to explore, but now I was content to stay where I was. I smiled awkwardly and shrugged as I said "That's alright." If possible, Matt looked even more shocked, but now with only a slight pink tinge to his cheeks. "It is?" he asked incredulously. I grinned again, and turned to concentrate on and old campfire place in the middle of this secret place. Looking around I saw some firewood stacked up against a boulder, and set about making a fire. I was careful not to look at Matt, and especially not make eye contact, but I could feel him watching my every move as I found the matches and lit the immaculately laid out fire. Within seconds it was roaring.  
  
Pleased with the result, I turned, and only now did I look Matt in the eye. "Spit it out" I said shortly. Before he had time to protest I continued, "You don't watch someone's every move for five minutes without having something to say!" He looked a bit taken aback by this, but was reassured that I wasn't angry when I laughed. "I can just tell these kinda things." Was my explanation to the question written on his face. "Now I'll just sit down here next to you, and you can say whatever you want." I sat down, and he picked at the yellow grass nervously. "I… well…" I gave him a piercing stare "Oh alright. Look, I like you Katie, and back then when I thought you'd fainted, I couldn't help myself. I would never have done it if I'd known you were awake" I'm a complete sucker for sweet talk, and watching Matt get so embarrassed as he said all this was too much. "Well, if I'm not getting the wrong end of the deku stick, then don't worry, coz I feel the same." He glanced up from the piece of grass he had been so involved with, "don't worry I'm being serious" I assured him. To prove it I leant towards him to give him a peck on the cheek, but he turned at the wrong moment, and it ended up being on the lips.  
  
Before I knew it, we were pulling, and only when we stopped for breath did I remember about Bob. I stood up suddenly, and Matt looked puzzled. "What time is it?" I demanded breathlessly. I'd finally discarded my watch after a few days of keeping it for sentimentality, but I knew Matt had one. "Umm… ten past midnight." In the rush my head had started hurting again, but I wouldn't stay here. "Oh Fuck!" without another word I grabbed Matt's wrist and hauled him towards the entrance back into the cave. "Wait! What's the hurry? Look, wait and TELL ME!" He shouted the last bit, as I was almost pulling his wrist off, while he dug his heels into the ground. I turned around, panting. "Tell you on… way… gotta go to… drawbridge… LATE!" again I turned and tried to drag him back into the cave but he turned me round again and said, "This ways quicker" and pointed to a gap between two huge rocks that it didn't look like a cat could squeeze through.  
  
I was almost hysterical now, I can't stand being late, especially when I'm meeting people. "Look, chill, and follow me." He sounded amazingly calm, but he'd obviously got the point how important it was that we got to the drawbridge, and I didn't have time to hesitate as he disappeared through the gap. I followed, and before I could think about how to get myself through, I was on the other side. I spun round, and saw the gap, but remembered what I had to do and grabbed Matt's hand again as I tried to sprint towards the drawbridge. While we were running, Matt asked whether I could possibly explain something, and I shouted over my shoulder random words that can't have made much sense to him, whenever I could manage. "Poe… Bob… Life… Meet… Midnight… LATE!" In the darkness I couldn't tell whether Bob was patiently waiting for me until we were a few metres away.  
  
I was clutching my head with one hand and cutting the blood supply off to a wrist that wasn't my own in the other. In any situation this is awkward, but in the dark, and in a panic, I was running almost like a crab. Just as I saw that Bob was still waiting on the bridge, looking huffed, I collapsed on the riverbank. This time I'd fainted for real.  
  
I don't know how long I was out for, but I began to hear voices swimming around indistinguishably "Should we wake her up?" "But who ARE you?" "I saved her life, and now I will again because of you!" " Don't be stupid, you're a ghost, what do you…" The voice that must've belonged to Matt stopped short as I groaned, and muttered. "Oh no she's hallucinating!" "Look… Bob… if you can't be any help, just go away." "WELL! I like that! She said she was going to meet me here so I'm jolly well going to stay and talk to her." Before Matt had a chance to retaliate, I groaned again, and tried to mutter a bit more audibly. "Please shut up! I'm real sorry Bob, got caught up, I'll explain as soon as those trees over there stop doing there Irish jig." Both were silent for a few minutes, and then, slowly recovering, I sat up and began to explain the whole story of what had happened yesterday, and how we had got into Hyrule. I kept my eyes shut through most of it as it took so long, but eventually I got to the last part.  
  
"And then Matt asked to meet me at sunset, but I thought I'd be back in time to meet Bob at midnight." Again there was a blissful, but awkward silence. Eventually it was Matt who spoke first. "So, what do we do now? Do you want me to take you back to Kokiri?" I couldn't have Penny seeing me in this state, she'd laugh herself stupid. "No, look I'm fine, I just need a few more minutes, you guys get to know each other or something…"  
  
Bob just couldn't resist this opportunity. Within seconds he was gloating about how he'd sent all the poes back into their damp graves, and how I'd been thanking him on bended knee, and begging to be able to see him again. At this Matt snorted uncontrollably. "It didn't sound like that in HER version of the story!" There was an indignant silence and then an even more indignant reply from Bob. "Well, she's more than a bit delirious at the moment obviously. She probably doesn't remember it very well."  
  
I was feeling better, but was enjoying Bob's eccentric and slightly twisted version of the true story, but I had to do something when they started to bicker like children. "Guys, Guys, GUYS!!" They'd started giving each other serious evils now. "It's late and I should be getting back to the forest, we can meet again tomorrow." I stood up and walked off. Before I got very far I heard running feet and a wind-like swishing behind me. Matt grabbed my arm and stopped me. "Hey! Sorry about that, it was really stupid." I raised my eyebrows at him, but said nothing. Bob was floating next to me as well now, and I looked from one sorry face to another before saying "You can both be by…" I looked around and pointed " …That clump of bushes tomorrow at sunset." And with that I started walking again. I was playing hard-to-get on Matts behalf here. Bob was funny, and a friend I spose, if that's possible with a ghost, but I really liked Matt, he was fit and funny, and really sweet, but he doesn't like to be called it! I wanted to leave him wondering though. I wasn't quite as superficial as Penny, and pull the first guy I liked the look of. I'm more the mysterious type, and not quick to judge.  
  
I could feel Bob and Matt looking at each other, puzzled, but I kept on walking, and quickly left them behind.  
  
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There ya go, now REVIEW IT!!!! The more reviews I get the quicker I am to put up the next chapter! (ooh, I like a bit of blackmail!)… 


	3. Everybody knows, poes are SLIMEBALLS!

Just wanna say sorry to Gamedude, the friendly cousin… coz I forgot to put he/she/it in the last chapter, never fear though, your time of glory has come!  
  
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How long was I going to have to keep making excuses to leave? It's getting even harder now we're in the castle. I know it's my choice when I tell Penny, but I don't know if I want to. I probably should though. Maybe when I get back tonight.  
  
I don't know what had come over me when I practically ignored Matt the previous night, he must've felt a bit confused, but I do like him. I'll make it up to him especially today! Now… which clump of plants was it again? Oh yeah, that one by the fence, I remember.  
  
I made my way over and noticed someone… or someTHING… crouching in amongst the fern leaves. I walked up curiously, but started when the little thing jumped up and grinned psychotically. It looked like a cross between a little human child, and Navi. "Hee hee hee! I'm Me!" and with that it ran off across the field. I had no time to say anything in response to this strange thing, but the similarities to a human kid were almost too much for me to bear. I had to restrain myself mentally to stop myself pulling out my hatchet, throwing it accurately into the quickly shrinking back, and shouting "HA!" at the little shit.  
  
Then of course I remembered I hadn't brought my hatchet. D'OH! Oh well. I settled down comfortably in the plants to wait for my suitors. After the long previous night, and then having to get up early this morning, I was dead on my feet, and however hard I tried, when I was all cosy in the foliage, I couldn't help falling asleep.  
  
Some time later I was woken by a ghostly chuckling. "Go away" I muttered thickly, but then remembered where I was. I sat up and looked around. Bob was floating not far away, looking at me and still chuckling. "You look so sweet when you're asleep!" He teased. While saying this he floated gracefully (Is that possible for a poe?) past me, and I got a faint whiff of something pleasant, but didn't mention it.  
  
He floated around a bit more, not saying anything much, and gradually I began to wonder why I'd been so keen on Matt. Bob was looking more and more "perfect" and I couldn't resist smiling as I watched him. Eventually he stopped, and peered across the field. I dragged my gaze away from him and his lantern, and looked too. Matt was coming across at a jog, and I found myself annoyed. What did he want? I was here to meet Bob, Matt can go and do chores like a kid for his evil task master cousin for all I cared.  
  
I went back to gazing starry-eyed at Bob, and when he looked round at me, an idea came to me. Judging quickly how far away Matt was and how long it would take for him to reach us, I angrily realised we wouldn't have enough time. The nearest cave was about a hundred metres away, and Matt was too close not to spot where we'd gone. "We should have gone to it before he saw us" I muttered. Although I said this to myself, Bob seemed to know the lines along which I was thinking, and he looked thoughtful for a second. "As a poe, I do have some magic of my own you know."  
  
He winked, but I didn't quite get the gist of what he was saying. He seemed pleased at my puzzled face, and I was momentarily in awe of how different his face looked when he smiled like that. "Hold on to my lantern, and I'll do the spell. I'll explain when we're in the cave." Without question I reached out and put my hand on top of his ghostly one holding the burning lamp. His hand felt strangely soft, and neither solid, liquid nor gas, but eerie as it was, I barely noticed.  
  
Bob had mumbled a few carefully chosen words, and now Matt had stopped mid-stride, not fifty metres away. The wind that had been whistling through a tree close by had been silenced, and a lone leaf was suspended in mid air from having been blown off the tree. Only me and Bob were moving, and this display of magic only increased my wonder at how I had not seen him like this before.  
  
"We'd better hurry, this is only temporary." Bob turned and glided off towards the cave I had been thinking about going to before, and just as we went out of sight, I heard the wind and other noises returning. I couldn't resist looking to see the expression on Matts face now we had seemingly disappeared into thin air.  
  
Letting Bob carry on further into the cave, I went to the entrance and peered out from behind a rock. As I had thought, Matt was standing next to the plants, and from what I could see he was bewildered and upset. Suddenly it felt as if my mind was clearing. What was I doing in this cave? I should be back with Matt, waiting for him like I said I would be.  
  
I ran after Bob, intending to tell him I was going back out to meet Matt, and he could go back to his grave and rot, but as I turned a sharp corner in the tunnel, I came face to face with Bob. Even as I started the sentence, I couldn't remember what I wanted to say, or why. " I…umm…" Bob was looking at me in a slightly patronising way, but in my mind that quickly turned into a look of complete adoration. "Look what I have prepared" He smiled again and floated aside, leaving me with a clear view of everything in the room.  
  
Next to the right wall, was a small table, but laden with food and lit candles, even a bottle of what I assumed to be the Hylian equivalent to wine. On the opposite wall, there was a large four-poster bed, and this was where Bob now lay. "You can eat and drink if you want." He said kindly. I was about to ask him why he wouldn't join me, but remembered just in time that he was a ghost and probably hadn't eaten for several centuries.  
  
As a matter of fact, I was hungry, and looked greedily at all the food. In Link's treehouse we had been living mainly off simple food, which was all very nice, but a bit repetitive. Here however, was a hoard of exotic looking shiny fruits and steaming pies, and I dug in almost before I'd sat down on the red plush chair.  
  
After a few mouthfuls, nosiness got the better of me, and I began to ask questions as well as eating. I quickly found this was a bad idea, so decided to finish eating before attempting to speak after I'd choked on an especially awkwardly shaped lump of something-or-other. After sampling a bit of everything, I settled down with a pastry covered greeny/blue shimmery sweet-tasting pudding.  
  
The more of it I ate, the more confused I felt. One second I would be thinking about how stupid I was not to choose Bob over Matt in the first place, and the next feeling guilty about standing Matt up and how I'd much rather be in HIS secret cave. I shook my head trying fruitlessly to get rid of these confusing thoughts, and my mental turmoil must've shown on my face because Bob was instantly at my side and peering into my food. He looked pissed off. "Damn, I forgot haquot berries were a natural antidote to aphrodisiacs."  
  
By now I had almost finished the pie, (Random voice sings: Who Ate All The Pies!) and had no idea what I was doing in this dingy little cave with a ghost. Hearing what Bob had just said made everything click. I stood up angrily, knocking the chair over with a crash. I was mad. "YOU SICK, TWISTED, DESPARATE…THING!!!" I screamed. "I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!" Bob looked a bit alarmed at my outburst…understandably… "Well, I think you're overreacting just a bit, I mean it was just a bit of fun really…"  
  
I was hysterical, and wasn't going to stop now. "FUN!?!?!?!?!?!?! YOU USED ME! YOU MADE UP SOME CACKY LOVE POTION TO USE ME!!!" suddenly something else hit me. "OH MY FUCKING GOD!!" after the pause before, this new fit startled him even more. "err…wh..what?" I could almost feel the fumes coming out of my ears. He was acting so innocent. "You…" I was no calmer, but now I was just glaring at him, my voice was quiet but dangerous. "You. You put a bed in this dingy hole. You were going to keep me under that spell or whatever so you could use me like some common whore." Now he was practically squirming under my gaze. "You make it sound so bad!" This really was it. Clear headed, I ran out of the cave, and was glad to see Matt sitting dejectedly where I had been, in the plants, not half an hour before.  
  
"MATT!" I shouted as soon as I got out of the cave. He looked round almost unbelievingly. I continued to run towards him, and could hear Bob slowly gaining on me. I didn't stop when I reached the plants, I just leant down, grabbed Matt by the shirt and pulled him up. He stumbled at first, but caught up and ran with me. "where's that cave of yours?" I asked, wincing at the pain of an oncoming stitch. Matt glanced backwards and said "too far. We'd never make it before he caught up. But there is somewhere."  
  
Now he took the lead, and veered left towards a solid wall of clay- like muddy rock. "Where are we going?" I was struggling to keep up but grabbing hold of his billowing shirt whenever I felt myself falling behind. As soon as we reached the huge wall of rock, Matt grabbed me and chucked me towards it. "WHAT ARE YOU DO…" I didn't finish the sentence as I suddenly found myself alone in a brightly lit cave. It wasn't lit by torches though. No, there were hundreds of flitting, glittering fairies. It was like a dream. As I stood there in a trance Matt suddenly appeared beside me, looking tense. Hurriedly he muttered something, waved his arms around the wall, and finally relaxed. "Now. Do you want to tell me what happened?" He didn't sound angry. Just disappointed. Close to tears I collapsed against him, repeating over and over again "I'm so sorry, it was Bob"  
  
After a few minutes, Matt gently sat me down on the floor and asked me to explain. I wiped my eyes, although I was too shocked to cry much, and did as he asked. "But how did?…solid wall…what IS this place?" he smiled, which was good to see in my desperate position. "This," he said slowly, "is a place of magic." I was amazed. "Why didn't you tell me you were a mage?" I gasped.  
  
"Let me explain. My cousin, Blackwolf, is a mage and alchemist, when I first came to this world to work for him he was harsh and strict. In the end in a rebellious mood, I hunted through his spells while he was asleep. I wanted a place where I could escape. You see, that other cave is too obvious, anyone can get in there, but soon I found exactly the spells I wanted. I practised them by night, and eventually had them mastered. I then came here and made this cave. I blasted it out of the cliff, and then cast a wall back onto the front. Now I can come in here through an apparently solid wall, and make the entrance solid again whenever I want."  
  
I was speechless, stunned, and gawping at him like a dead fish. "Wow." Was all I could manage. He laughed loudly. "Don't worry I'm not about to turn you into a lizard or anything!" Now it was my turn to laugh. "That's amazing… didn't your cousin ever find out?" at this he looked a bit awkward. "Well, he guessed, because I hadn't been careful enough to put all the books back on the night I did it, but he didn't seem annoyed. In fact, he was much nicer to me. He made me his apprentice and offered me a home, so I'm not complaining!"  
  
After a long silence Matt started talking again. "Now, assuming Bob has gone back to his grave where he belongs, I'll walk you back to the castle." I relaxed, but hadn't known that I was so tense about the thought of having to leave on my own. "Do you want to meet some friends of mine?" I asked in trepidation. "We'll see shall we." Was his reply, and with that we walked out through the hologram of a wall.  
  
When the castle came into sight, I tried again to persuade him to come and meet Penny, and Link if he was there. "He chuckled, but eventually agreed. As soon as he said yes, I was nervous… what if Link and him were enemies? What if he liked Penny more than me? What if Lethys dude turned up and blew us all to smithereens, what if…No. It was no good thinking like that, I just had to introduce them. And so I went inside our room, announced I had someone for them to meet, and waited for Matt to join us.  
  
/~*~*~\  
  
Phew, finished! But what's going to happen about Bob? Will Link already know Matt? Will Matt reject me for Penny? You'll only see if you read the next chapter, and it'll be coming SOOON!! 


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